good insults

I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you!

I think you should live for the moment. But after that, I doubt I'll think so.

Man alive! But I wish you weren't.

I believe in respect for the dead; in fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead.

Is your name Maple Syrup? It should be, you sap.

You spent so much time trying to get rid of that halitosis that you had only to find out that you are not popular anyway.

You are the kind of person who, when one first meets you, one doesn't like you. But when one gets to know you better, one hates you.

We know that romance brings out the beast in you -- the jackass.

I'm looking forward to the pleasure of your company since I haven't had it yet.

There are several people in this world that I find obnoxious and you are all of them.

All of your girlfriends kiss you with their eyes closed. Considering your face, that's the only way they could.

I hear that when your mother first saw you, she decided to leave you on the front steps of a police station while she turned herself in.

Would you like to replace my business partner who died this morning? I'll arrange it with the undertaker.

People say that you are outspoken, but not by anyone that I know of.

Your conversation is like the waves of the sea. It makes me sick!

We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.

When you get to the men`s room, you will see a sign that says, "Gentlemen." Pay no heed to it. Go right on in.

The only things you ever make are mistakes and cigarette ashes.

You always manage to keep your neck above water. We can tell by the color of it.

All that you are you owe to your parents. Why don't you send them a penny and square the account?

I heard you have hair on your chest, and that`s not your only resemblance to Rin Tin Tin.

No one should be punished for accident of birth, but you look too much like a wreck not to be.

There was something about you that I liked, but you spent it.

Sit down and give your mind a rest.

Here are a few good ones me and my friends made up when we were younger:

"Oh yeah, at least I have hair!"

"I love your shirt, it matches the ones those people at the assylum wear. Why don't you take yourself and shirt there to fit in."

"I love that scary mask you're wearing for Halloween. Oh, that's just your face. Nevermind."

"You're so smart you make Bush look dumb. Wait..."

"t***ty sack"
yea thats my insult!

"I mean I would like to see things from ur point of view... but alas I can't get my head that far up my own ass!"

You think when you say 'obliviuos' once in every sentance that makes you sound smart. But you are oblivious to the use of a dictionary.
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I know its corny, but it got a guy to leave me the hell alone!!

haha i have a sweet one.

ok well, whenever somone says somthing replace the subject with 'your mom'

ex's:

Teacher: You guys are making my day misirable!
me: Your mom is making my day misirable!

Shane: Im choking on my lunch
Me: your choking on your mom

Tigger: you guys are retarted!
me: your mom is retarted!

your mum/dad is so fat i rolled over twice and was still on the her/him and then burnt my a** on the light bulb!
lol

Only for blokes to say to M8s!!

tell your mum to stop changign the olour of her lippy my Di(k is keeps changing colour

b**** i could care less what you say or think

Dont sugar coat it fatty, cause the you'll eat that too.

Brilliant

The worst insult that I can think of would be your username is Jumper.

Here are some I just thought of:
Your chest is flatter than a basketball court.
Your chest is concave.
Your thighs are so big that the city mistook your spider vains as rivers and was planning on building a dam along your inferior vena cava.
Your such a dumb whore that you lost your virginity to a homeless man after he told you he couldn't pay.
You stink so bad that all men ages 80 and up die of a heart attack whenever you walk past.
Your giant nose could sink a ship.
Your such a prude you can't stand to see a puppy with no clothes.
Your such a b**** you'd laugh at anything.
Your such a dirty pig you'd lick the tampons you find on the floor of the girls bathroom.
Your boobs look like beach balls that deflated in the sun.
Your a danger to your own children. Your children are afraid to hug you for fear of being submerged in your waves of fat.
You got lost in your own bathroom.
When you look in the mirror it starts spurt shards of glass at your eyes as a favor to you.
Your such a douche that that stuff in your hair isn't hair gel.
Your such a coward that your won't flush the toilette 'cause your scared your poop will get mad.
Your such a pushover that when take your dog for a walk, your the one wearing the leash.
Your such a loud mouth, its your own fault your half deah.
Your such a b****, you make all the male dogs hollar.
Your such a prick even a porcupine would stay away.

You're like, stupid and stuff.

hm, these are kind of weird. only a few funny ones.